It’s Time To Put Yourself First.

I want to let you know that I say No a lot nowadays.

I say no so that I can focus all my attention on my existing work, myself, and the things & people that are important to me.

I say no because if I said yes to everything that came my way, my existing work would suffer.

I say no because my week is already planned the way I want it.

I used to say yes to everything because I felt ‘bad’ about ‘letting people down’. I quickly realised this is a recipe for burn-out and resentment. Once I started saying no more often, guess what happened? Nothing. Nobody got upset. Nobody cared. And I got my time back. Why wasn’t I doing that all along!!

I set boundaries in the form of: putting my phone onto ‘do not disturb’ when I’m working; setting up automated emails so I don’t have to respond to every single enquiry personally; not working or responding to anything work-related on a Sunday; or leaving work WhatsApp groups when I go on holiday because I don’t need or want the constant notifications during my time off.

Saying no and setting boundaries is what allows me to prioritise what’s important, and allows me to live my life on my terms. 

Why am I telling you this? To remind you that if you have a health & fitness goal, you have to be a bit selfish in order to achieve it. You have to learn to say “No” to anything that won’t get you there. And be absolutely ruthless about it. This is your life, after all. If you keep letting other people and other plans sway you, you will never get to where you want to be. Plain and simple.

However, I find a lot of people struggle with this mindset.

Now, obviously, I’m not telling you to abandon your family or quit your job or anything like that. I’m not telling you to stop being a kind-hearted human being, either. But there are so many instances in our day where we cave in and say yes to something that’s not our responsibility, it wasn’t in our plan, and saying yes to it is directly going to sabotage our goals and priorities. All due to the fear of being disliked, or seen as difficult, boring, ‘not a team player’, etc. For example:

The friend trying to get you to skip your workout to have a cocktail with them, instead.

The family member pressuring you to eat another slice of cake when you’ve got a calorie goal to stick to and you know this cake will take you over it.

The co-worker asking you to take on extra work because their aunt’s hamster is in town, when it’s your day off and you’ve got a relaxing afternoon planned for yourself.

The voice in your head that self-sabotages and says “Oh just skip it this once; it’s no big deal.”

If you want to prioritise your health and fitness goals, you simply have to say NO to all of these. If it upsets someone? Honestly, that’s their problem. NOT YOURS.

How can you be more mindful of this?

Every time something extra/unplanned comes up, ask yourself: “Can I take this on without stressing myself out or damaging my health in the process? Will doing this align with the person I’m trying to become? Will saying yes to this sabotage the goals I have for myself, or the precious time I have to relax and unwind?” 

If taking it on will sabotage you, then say NO.

And if you struggle with the ‘selfishness’ aspect, remember this: By putting yourself first, not only do you benefit, but so does your family life, social life, and work life. You will be happier, healthier, and more energetic, which benefits everyone around you.

Also remember that most people are also looking out for themselves. Your co-worker asked you to take on some of her work so she could have a spa day with Susan and Margarie; she’s not feeling bad about trying to pass this work onto you. So why should you feel bad when you say no to her?

You are allowed to live your best life.

So: I am giving you permission to be more selfish about your health & fitness goals. You are doing this for a reason. Don’t let tiny, unimportant things sway you from this reason. You matter. Your goals matter.

Conni